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Ann Goodfellow

Ann Julie Goodfellow (Kolomayz)

Monday, September 13th, 1954 - Saturday, January 5th, 2019
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Obituary

GOODFELLOW, ANN JULIE (Kolomayz)
Peacefully, surrounded by family at Bob's Lake on Saturday, January 5, 2019 at the age of 64. Beloved wife of 41 years to David Edward Goodfellow. Loving mother of Jennifer Trussell (Steve), and Joshua (Nikki). Cherished Baba of Taylor and Emily, Emmitt and Beckett. Beloved Sister of Nancy Litwak (Ray), the Late Dennis, Ray (Linda), Paul (Helen), Christopher (Leeann) and niece of Alice Nixon. Will be forever missed by her extended family and all of her friends. Resting at Goodfellow’s Funeral Home, Parham. Friends will be received on Tuesday January 8 from 1 pm to 9 pm. Funeral Liturgy will be held at St James Major Catholic Church located at 14608 Rd 38, Sharbot Lake on Wednesday, January 9, 2019 at 11 am. Interment in Parham Cemetery. Donations to Parham United Church would be appreciated by the family.
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Service Details

  • Visitation

    Tuesday, January 8th, 2019 | 1:00pm - 9:00pm
    When
    Tuesday, January 8th, 2019 1:00pm - 9:00pm
    Location
    Goodfellow's Funeral Home
    Address
    11014 Rd 38
    PARHAM, ON K0H 2K0
    Get Directions: View Map | Text | Email
  • Service

    Wednesday, January 9th, 2019 | 11:00am
    When
    Wednesday, January 9th, 2019 11:00am
    Location
    St James Major Catholic Church
    Address
    14608 Rd 38
    SHARBOT LAKE, ON
    Get Directions: View Map | Text | Email
    Officiant
    Father John Brennan
  • Interment

    Location
    Parham Cemetery
    Address
    Long Lake Rd
    PARHAM, ON
    Get Directions: View Map | Text | Email
  • Reception

    Location
    St James Major Catholic Church Hall
    Address
    14608 Rd 38,
    SHARBOT LAKE, ON
    Get Directions: View Map | Text | Email

Donations

Donations are being accepted for: PARHAM UNITED CHURCH.

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SR

Sue and Bruce Rutherford

Posted at 09:32am
When someone we love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a cherished treasure always in our hearts.
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A donation was made in memory of Ann Goodfellow
J

Jennifer

Posted at 10:43am
Eulogy by Jennifer Trussell (Goodfellow) ~ I would like to take a moment to thank all of you. Everyone who is here has been part of our journey somehow and we are so grateful to all of you. Our community has fed us, opened your homes to us, offered a supportive ear, words of comfort and time. Since we got Moms diagnosis in July there was rarely a day when the cottage was quiet and I know my parents loved that despite the circumstance. So thank you all. How do you honour a life in a few minutes? How do you describe the woman who was my mother? She was a force of nature. And I don’t know how to tell her story without telling some of mine. My whole life I’ve been compared to my Mom and maybe because she was such a force, so strong willed, full of strength and confidence and just knowing what Moms know, maybe that’s why I also tried so hard to maybe not distance myself from the comparisons but ignore them. It hasnt been until the last 6 months that I could not ignore it any longer. I took Mom to her first doctors appointment on January 7th of last year. It was a fine line of asking the hard health questions without disrespecting her. As the year went on and we found the brain tumour it wasn’t until I saw her slipping away that the need to step up and speak for her really came through. I knew if she was in her right mind she would be putting everyone including me in their place. And as hard as it was to do I knew that I spoke her truth when everyone was upset with me. Becuaee one thing Mom wasn’t was unwavering. She spoke the truth whether you wanted to hear it or not. She stood so strongly in her convictions and ethics that it was like moving a mountain to change her mind especially f she saw injustice happening. And so today, I stand here to tell you her story through my eyes, through our eyes. Mom was born Sept 13th 1954 in Mississauga. She grew up on a farm at highway 10 and Eglinton when there were only 7 houses north of Eglinton. She was the second youngest of 6, 8 if you include her two aunts her own Mom took in to raise after her mother died. Please ask any one of her siblings here today about the stories from growing up on the farm. Between getting in trouble, trying to run away or dealing with the natural elements it’s really surprising they all made it to adulthood! As a young woman Mom worked at a little flower shop at St. Lawrence Market and that is where she met my Dad for the first time as he was in the city as a funeral apprentice. And the rest, they say is history. She was impressed that he had a family business to take over and was excited to start their new life together. Parham wasn’t a huge departure from where she grew up but I know being far away from her family was trying. Yet we travelled and spent a great deal of time with our Baba and Gigi and our aunts uncles and cousins. I remember the day that we first found out about the tumour. It was a shock for sure, nothing like what was ahead of us, but it left us speechless nonetheless. And for those of you familiar with my family, speechless is not a word most used to describe us! That day was the last I can remember when we just enjoyed each other’s company, the sun and the kids without any doctors appointments, decisions or inevitablies. At the end of the summer I remember Joshua and I talked about just going on a trip while Mom was still well enough to go. Except she didn’t want to and we couldn’t think of where to go. I spent some time considering what we could do for Mom to help her fulfil any life long dream she may have had to go or do something. But the truth was she had travelled, drove mostly across Canada, the east coast of the US, England with her brother Chris where to my knowledge was the only time she drove a stick shift. To Italy, the Mediterranean, Costa Rica and Trinidad & Tobago. Mom enjoyed the theatre, she introduced me to he genius of Andrew Lloyd Webber when she and Auntie Nancy took us to see Joseph and the Amazing Techicoloured Dreamcoat - the musical was amazing and Donnie Osmond was alright too! She spent time with friends, had weekender parties, ran a successful business for 25yrs. Sat on the Limeschool District School Board for 15yrs , 3 of those as Chair. The only thing we all really needed was time. More time with friends, more time at the cottage to see what invitations Taylor and Em it will come up with the change the world, and how much trouble Beckett and Emily will actually manage to get out of. And her and Dad fought hard for time. They dug in and stuck it out and fought hard. I won’t say that they lost, because that would imply it was a fair fight. It was fair from that. They say that your soul mate is the person who challenges you the most. Mom and Dad certainly did that for each other. There were many ups and downs that came with relocating to a small town 3hrs away from your family and starting a new life. They challenged each other to keep moving, to success, to set a good example. It was not always easy but they showed us how to never give up. And after 41 years of marriage they had trouble sleeping apart. They challenged each other for the last 6 months. Fighting an impossible fight but never giving up on each other. My Mom and my brother had a special relationship. One that only a mother and son have. That only the second born can understand. He had her unwavering support through anything he did. I used to be jealous of this, but now I see through the eyes of my youngest that the bond they had was unable and unnecessary to put words to. I know how much Mom worried about Joshua and I through our 20s. And I know that much of that worry went away when we found Nikki and Steve, within a few months of each other actually. Nikki has that similar sharp wit and sense of humour Mom had and I know how much they liked ribbing each other. And Steve won my Mom over the first time they met when he bought us dinner. He could also keep up with her wit and enjoyed poking fun at her from time to time. I spent much of my life trying to make heads or tails of my mom. It didn’t happen when I had children, like everyone said it would. I didn’t have that ah ha moment of finally understanding what Mom had gone through raising us. No when I had kids she fully took advantage of the Baba roll. I will never forget that morning when Taylor our oldest was about a year and a half. Mom and Dad were visiting and Steve and I were just laying in bed enjoying the fact that we didn’t have to get up, when from downstairs I heard my Mom say, “Taylor what would you like for breakfast? TAylor promptly answered ice cream!” And without skipping a beat my Mom asked, what kind? She took full enjoyment from the Karma that was coming back my way from raising two spirited girls. I know now, or have maybe always known that mom and I had a hard relationship because we were so similar. For a while I denied it, but these last 6 months have made it more difficult for me to deny and in the depths of this horrible disease I have seen my Moms conviction, strength, and wisdom that makes me understand more deeply then ever. Over the last 6 months she never wavered, she never broke and she never ever said why me. She may have been stubborn but her intentions were always pure and clear Growing up in a funeral home there were always hard questions. Not the one about how people die, that was easy your heart simply stops beating. But the whys and how’s were the hardest. Why do people get sick, why can’t the doctors save them, why do families fight, why do young people die. How does that family move on from this, how did they get through it, how is life going to be the same. For all those questions her answers were all the same. It is what it is and life goes on. For much of my life I hated those answers. But when you find an inoperable incurable brain tumour and are given months to live somehow it is what it is and life goes on are the only things to hold onto. I would often wonder how she knew. How does she know life will go on? Does she know we can barely breathe? This reminded me of a quote from Alice in Wonderland: Alice laughed: "There's no use trying," she said; "one can't believe impossible things." "I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was younger, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." Alice in Wonderland.
J

Jennifer

Posted at 10:42am
Eulogy by Laurie French Hello Everyone – my name is Laurie French and I am a friend of Ann’s. I was deeply honoured when Dave asked me to speak and I hope I can honour her as she deserves. I wish you all many happy memories of Ann, and the strong, fun, wise, and giving woman that she was. Our friendship happened by chance, and I’d say my good luck. We were both involved with our own children still attending school back then – and both of us being those mothers who never hesitated to share our opinion, we separately found ourselves being encouraged to run for the school board in 1999. At the very first conference we attended 20 years ago as new Trustees, we just bonded. I can still remember the restaurant where we chatted for hours, likely involving a couple glasses of wine, but she became a true friend and supporter in my life. She was a major strength to me when I lost my Mom all too early, and she supported me when my own family went through a change. She’s been a colleague, perhaps a parent to me a couple of times I can remember, a co-conspirator, but always a genuine friend. We were quickly dubbed ‘the twins’ by the rest of the board of Trustees, and we thought that was just great. Whether we agreed on every decision or not, I always respected her view, and she was one of those Trustees who was truly in it for the kids, with a genuine connection to her community. I marveled at any graduation or school event we attended in this area that all the kids knew her name, and she had kind stories to share about their lives and families and accomplishments. And I can assure you that her protective Mama Bear claws quickly came out when it came to fighting for the needs of kids and schools in the north, or equity of access to programs and services here. Dave received a message this week from a local media contact praising Ann’s service to the community through business as well as the board, and her support of this community through some big changes. I was also pleased by the many messages from staff within our board, and education colleagues from across Ontario who’d worked with Ann at the provincial level and witnessed her contributions, her positive outlook, and her thoughtful wisdom with a perspective on the north. She provided strong leadership as Chair of the Board – she was articulate, genuine, and always respected. Being just a little competitive, we would joke about our dual 3 years each as Chair of the Board, but I also remember her cheering me on and her pride when I went on to other provincial roles after she retired. She was one of those people whose pride you wanted to earn. I’m not sure she realized just the impact she had. In some of our antics over the years, I remember one night laughing hilariously into the wee hours like kids who are told to stop laughing when you’ve no idea what even started it, but we just had that kind of fun together. I’m sure we will all never forget Ann’s laugh and her beautiful smile. We shared a love for shopping, be it shoes, or filling our closets together – I’m sorry Dave, as you know I was also the one who introduced her to the gold exchange jewelry store in Toronto where we always had to help each other pick out one bauble or another. But most importantly, Ann was a great personal friend. We hadn’t spent a lot of time together in the last couple years – connecting on birthdays and such as I carried on my education pursuits, but for me, Ann was that friend who you might not have talked to for a year and yet you picked up like you’d just spoken the day before. I admired her strength in so many areas. She juggled a successful business with the Flower Shop for many years, along with helping Dave manage the family Funeral Home business – I would have loved to be a fly on the wall some days to watch Ann and Dave together at home and in business spending so many hours together and I wonder just who was in charge. I’m quite sure she’s watching over arrangements today. And yet she and Dave were true partners in love and life, and formed a team that few couples are lucky enough to forge. It struck me that together, they have consoled thousands of people who’ve lost loved ones over the years, and yet that can’t prepare Ann’s family for the loss they’ve now endured together. It was clear that Ann’s family was so obviously her priority, and she leaves a legacy in how close they are. They truly have fun, and that connection was so evident in the good times they’ve had over the years and their commitment to caring for Ann these last month’s together. To Jennifer – while you think you and your mom clashed, she absolutely admired the strength you developed as she saw herself in you, and was so proud of your achievements as a woman and mother. To Joshua – you could hear your Mom’s complete love and pride when she spoke of you and the man and father you have become. When Ann retired from the Board four years ago, she never looked back, seizing the years that she would enjoy her grandchildren as a very proud Baba, and you could immediately see her shift in focus when her grandchildren came along. Taylor, Emmitt, Emily and Beckett – you were you’re Baba’s very favourite thing. I can say in recent weeks, it was so heartwarming to see all the kids crawl up and snuggle with Ann with the same comfort and love as ever, even as she became more ill. When the worst diagnosis was confirmed, Ann’s courage amazed me. As we all struggled with the hopeless reality, she told so many of us “it’s okay, it’s going to be okay” – how did she know this, and where did she possibly find the strength to give us all these assurances? She fought bravely, taking on nasty treatments to buy a bit more time, but there’s never enough time to say goodbye. I know she did gain some peace through her Faith during visits with Father Brennan. She was determined to do things her way though as much as possible. I remember when she was in hospital the last time, and preparations were underway to go home. After a plan was all set up for here in Parham, she was quite clear to correct that no, she was going to the cottage, and so began the new plan. It took an extra day or so, but home to the Lake she went and stayed, and was able to complete her journey in her favourite place with her important people. Not many of us are able to see this through. To Dave, you are my new hero. If dying in a particular place can be a wish, you absolutely made it possible for Ann to choose, through great sacrifice and without a blink to the commitment and constant care it would require. To have control in this heartbreaking eventuality required a chief, and you were amazing. We could all hope for that kind of care and love and dedication. That said, we all know that Ann continued to provide her usual direction as to what she wanted moment by moment as the true Foreman on the team, and she kept her sassy side all the way. As so many friends and family came to say their goodbyes, it was clear how loved Ann was as I was privileged to meet some of the family I’d heard of over the years, and the friends who visited - some bringing a life time supply of borscht, and other meals and goodies that were genuinely appreciated. I know we will all be here to support Dave and his family in the coming months. So Ann can now rest in peace, and as we say goodbye until we meet again, we know she will be greeted by many friends, neighbours and family, her Mother and Father, her brother, and she will be there to meet us one day, with her wide smile. And we can be sure she will have everything quite organized for us. There is a children’s story I love that includes some lines that I hope Dave, Jennifer, Josh, Taylor, Emily, Emmitt and Beckett will always remember: “Love never gets lost, never fades, never ends, if you’re working, or playing, or sitting with friends. You can dance ‘til you’re dizzy, or paint ‘til you’re blue, There’s no place, not one that my love can’t find you. And if someday you’re lonely, Or someday you’re sad, or you strike out at baseball, or think you’ve been bad Just lift up your face, feel the wind in your hair. That’s me, my darlings, my love is right there.”
M

Mkolomayz@outlook.com

Posted at 03:53pm
My deepest sympathy to the Goodfellow and Kolomayz families on the loss of Ann. Marie Kolomayz
HW

Heather White

Posted at 11:22am
Our thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time. We send our heartfelt sympathy.
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A donation was made in memory of Ann Goodfellow
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